Greetings From Quiddity

Peek-a-Boo

2009-09-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

Finn and his daddy had a rather rousing session of Peek-a-Boo last week. I apologize for the crappy video/audio quality of my camera, but it's too damn cute.

In other news: I'm now fairly convinced that Finn is teething. He simply does not want to nap - even his morning nap which was pretty much clockwork timing he was so reliable about it. And bedtime is also starting to be a chore (again, he was usually a really easy baby about bedtime). At first I thought we were having problems because his sleep routine had been thrown off since our vacation jaunt down to the Oregon Coast but it's been getting progressively worse since we've been home and he gets especially fussy if he does not have something to chew on. JOY!

I've been debating whether it's really useful to have a blog anymore as I never seem to be able to find the time or inclination to write, but I suppose I'll keep on keeping on for now.

15 weeks

2009-06-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

Wow. I'm going to have to say that it's even harder to find time to blog now that I'm back at work. I have a feeling that I might be able to do this only once every month or two. But on to the status update.

Finn is doing well, although he is currently feeling under the weather (both he and his Daddy are sick right now, my poor boys). It's amazing to me how much he's changed in so little time. He is all smiles and very talkative now. And gone are the days of being content just to sit and look around, eat, sleep and poop. He's much more interested in really interacting with people AND with his toys (which he primarily ignored up until a few weeks ago). He is a very strong little boy and tummy time is slowly becoming less of an attack on his sensibilities and more of a fun position for play.

Tummy time has become an especially important issue as Finn has been under care for a mild positional plagiocephaly. He had a torticollis when he was born which caused the condition. He's been undergoing physical therapy for a couple weeks now and we are trying to limit the time he spends playing lying on his back. Unfortunately, it's something that is going to take a long time to resolve, but Finn is a trooper with his neck stretches and other treatments.

I've been back at work over a month now and things are going fairly well. I find that my short-term memory is still lacking compared to my pre-pregnancy state, and it is still a little difficult to concentrate for long periods of time. My concentration is slowly getting better, but I'm starting to resign myself to the fact that I will need to write down anything important if I expect it to actually get done.

8 weeks already!!

2009-04-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's already been 8 weeks since my little man has come into my life. In my sleep deprived state, it is almost impossible to try to write anything much. It's so easy to lose my train of thought. Finn is much more responsive and is smiling and cooing now. It is so nice to get feedback from him other than crying. It was hard not to feel like the worst mommy in the world when the only real reaction you get from your child is wailing. Dr. George, Finn's pediatrician, said that things would feel more rewarding and easier to cope when this behavior started, and he was completely correct. My favorite is coming in his room in the morning to start the day and seeing that big grin on his face after he gets his wake-up greeting from Mommy.

Finn's growing like a weed. I can't believe how much bigger he is than when we brought him home from the hospital. He weighs about 12 lbs now. I've had to remove the newborn insert and adjust the straps on his car seat to suit his height. He's also too long for about half of his newborn (NB) size clothing, and is between sizes on most of his pants (the NB ones are a little too short, but the 3M size tends to be a bit too long).

I'm coming to the end of my maternity leave and am feeling apprehensive about going back to work. The logistics of pumping at work is a little daunting, and while it will be nice to regularly be around other adults, I also know I'm going to miss Finn terribly. It's going to be so weird to only get to spend two full days with him a week.

Oh, and for those of you who may care: Finn looks just like his Daddy right now. He's got my chin and eyes, but otherwise, he's all Hubby.

Welcome to the World, Mr. Finn!

2009-03-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hemingway naps while the Finn uses him as a pillow.

So, I realize this is a very late post, but give a new, sleep deprived, Mommy a break! I finally got the baby out of my belly! Whew! I did end up having to be induced and things probably would have gone fine with a vaginal birth if the silly boy had not wrapped the umbilical cord around his neck twice and decided that he needed to come out in the wrong position. Needless to say, I did end up having a cesarean and Finn was born on February 27, at 2:19 am. Both Finn and I came through it just fine and I seem to be recovering pretty quickly from the surgery. While it's true that the whole experience is totally worth it once you get that lil' one in your arms, I still feel that this will likely be our only child. I'm glad I was good about my eating habits (didn't count calories, but tried to eat healthier) during pregnancy as I've only got about 7 pounds to lose to be back at pre-pregnancy weight. Hurray for good eating and breastfeeding weight loss!

Enjoying some sleepy-cuddle time with Mommy.

Life at home has overall been good, but stressful. Finn's usually pretty mellow, but has his days of being especially gassy which make Mommy and Daddy's days and nights a bit horrifying - if you think screaming baby is no fun when it's some random child, try it when it's your own. But I've decided that I'm going to try to modify my diet to see if I can't help with that a bit (I'm nursing him, so a lot of the gassy issues are probably related to what I eat). When he's not having gas issues, he's actually a pretty good sleeper already and we usually get 3-4 hours at a time out of him at night.

Hubby and I are slowly but surely learning all Finn's little queues and are loving having him around a whole bunch - even when he's being a stinker. ^_~

2.5 working days left...

2009-02-11T13:40:00.000-08:00

... before the maternity leave starts. It's getting increasingly difficult to concentrate on anything other than preparing for Finn's arrival, so this is a very good thing all-around. Although, I do hate not getting to finish my project (I hate not finishing things in general). But the project will be in good hands, and I'm sure once I don't have to be at work, it'll be a lot easier to let go.

I am now at the point where Finn is putting so much pressure on my pelvis that I don't ever want to be standing, and certainly not for any prolonged period of time. I know that this is about the time I want to be taking regular walks to try to encourage labor, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do any more than maybe a couple blocks. Hopefully, that will be enough.

I've got most of the packing for the hospital done. The diaper bag for Finn is done, and I just need to throw a few minor items (that I could probably live without if needed) in the bag for me. Hubby got the car seat installed, and my parents delivered the crib mattress which was the last "essential" item for the nursery. So, all in all, we're not doing too shabby on getting stuff ready. I just want to go through and get some stuff reorganized in the kitchen to make room for storing bottles, bibs and such - although I'm not sure what I can do to make that happen, the kitchen is pretty packed as is. We might need to look into some wire shelving or something to store some of the pantry items in to make room on one of the shelves there.

I'm very much looking forward to a Christopher Moore reading/signing on Sunday, but I'm torn. I want Finn out of my body pretty badly, but if he comes at this point, I'll have to miss the signing. *cry*

Reason # 937 to love Hubby

2009-02-09T13:41:00.000-08:00

From: Finnegan **** [mailto:finnegan.c.****@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, February 09, 2009 1:40 PM
To: Rebecca ****
Subject: Hi Momma!

Hang in there! I'm almost here. I love you. ^_^

(He has been sending me these for a couple weeks now. <3)

Week 38: The Work Slow-Down

2009-02-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

I took Sassy's advice and talked to work about cutting down the overtime so that I will not be working more than 9 hours in a day. My boss and producers were surprisingly cool about this - not that I necessarily thought they would not be understanding, but I was worried it would be more of a hassle. Hurray for not being killed by my job! I also got my FMLA paperwork and should be able to get that in by Monday, although, they want me to pick a start date for maternity leave... I'll have to talk to my OB about that one. I'd like to keep working at least through the end of next week (the 13th). Unless, of course, Finn decides to arrive before then.

I am now officially full-term. Although some say 37 weeks is full-term, but I've got conflicting information on that one... My body is pretty much a mess. My feet, cankles and hands are such a joy, and the swelling involved there has given me carpal tunnel in my right wrist. I've never been a huge fan of my legs anyway, but what a wonderful way to make an already pregnant and overly emotional girl feel like a fat cow! Go Nature! The boy is so active to the point it's distracting at times (this is especially nice when you are trying to give instructions to your team at work or in meetings). And I'm waiting for the day when someone actually gets startled by seeing the kid moving around like an Alien trying to burst from my belly. That'll be fun. I was 1 cm dilated with my cervix starting to thin & soften at my doctor's appointment last week, we'll see if there is any change at the appointment tomorrow. My body is starting to progress towards labor, but it could still be 2 or 3 weeks before it happens...

Dilemma:

2009-02-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

When should I stop working?

My project is in crunch time, and I'm getting far enough along now that I just can't work the extra hours and expect to stay healthy. But at the same time, I could still be another 3 weeks before popping this kid out... I would prefer to have that time after the baby is born, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm overdoing it with my zeal to work as long as possible. Also, I'm working so much that I'm starting to run out of time to get the house in order before I go into labor. Hubby has been a huge help in getting things done, but he can't do it ALL by himself. So, I'm in a quandary...

Armor plated bubble baby

2009-01-20T11:34:00.000-08:00

Hubby says (11:28 AM):
man

Hubby says (11:28 AM):
going to have to call him bubble baby

Hubby says (11:28 AM):
when he's in the carseat/stroller combo

Beck says (11:28 AM):
??

Hubby says (11:28 AM):
lol

Hubby says (11:28 AM):
it's like a bunker lol

Beck says (11:29 AM):
OH! Cos the two sun visors overlap?

Hubby says (11:29 AM):
armor plated and everything

Hubby says (11:29 AM):
lol

Week 34: Just 4-7 weeks left. happy dance

2009-01-08T12:55:00.000-08:00

Or, at least, I would do a happy dance if my feet were not swollen & uncomfortable. Last Saturday was my final birth preparation class. We had a different instructor this time, and I liked her SO much better than the woman who taught our first two classes. I had to go to this one alone (this was the dreaded all day final class - stupid snow), so it was nice to have an instructor who was actually engaging and who I felt covered the material efficiently and without agenda. I especially liked her lecture on newborn care as she went over a lot of baby body language (i.e. how to tell when baby is hungry, sleepy, playful, etc...). It was nice to not have to sit through how-to-change-a-diaper since I think that is something that you should, as a reasonably intelligent adult, be able to figure out.

Hubby and I also had the birthing plan discussion with my OB at this week's appointment. After going through the birthing plan section of one of the two BIG pregnancy books I have, I found that I don't really have strong feelings one way or the other for most options other than wanting my pain medications (if possible) and wanting baby to stay in the room with us after birth as much as possible for any exams and such. I'm pretty willing to let the situation dictate what needs to be done. We mostly discussed what we can expect to happen in the more common situations and when the OB starts considering interventions like induction & cesarean, etc.

I'm also looking forward to the baby shower this week. While I would be a big fat liar if I said I was not excited about getting the loots (the less we have to buy for ourselves the longer maternity leave I get), it will be really nice to have all my close family & friends together for a shin-dig.

Now if only I did not have to start my 6-day work weeks this week due to end of project crunch time. *cry*

I thought this was a temperate zone...

2008-12-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

Much to Hubby's chagrin, I am not a fan of the wintery white stuff called "snow". I'm sick of being stuck at home, and am dreading having to drive to work tomorrow. I suppose I wouldn't mind so much if the roads in the greater Seattle area were actually reliably plowed and sanded. That was one of the good things about living in Massachusetts was that the plows came out pretty much as soon as the snow started to fall. You still had to be careful, but you didn't need chains and/or 4-wheel drive to get around. Anyway, I hate being trapped in the house; and I haven't enjoyed "playing" in the snow for a good 15 years at least (this stems from my hating being cold). I'm annoyed that my birthing class was canceled due to the weather, and that it was rescheduled to make the next class an all freakin' day event. This means that I will have to go to class alone because Hubby cannot take all day off from work. This pisses me off greatly. Damn yous, snows!

Hurray!

2008-12-17T16:08:00.000-08:00

Score: Sleep Deprivation - 14, Me - 0

2008-12-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

For the past couple weeks, I have been getting little to no sleep at night. The congestion and growing belly makes it near impossible to find a position I can be comfortable in. This coupled with the overtime I've been pulling at work makes me a sad panda. Not only am I stressing out, but I can't get any rest. To make matters worse, it makes me loopy at work; which makes the capacity of my short-term memory greatly diminished (on top of the pregnancy brain issues I'm already experiencing). It's truly a wonder that I get anything done at all.

Last Saturday, Hubby & I had our first birthing class. It went alright, though Hubby was not impressed with the Touchy-Feely Granola Lady teaching the class. He is also easily grossed out by biological processes, so he was fairly uncomfortable for most the class. The T-FGL was a little too much hippy for me as well, but it's not like the information she was giving was inappropriate or incorrect. Unfortunately for me, most of the actual labor/delivery related stuff taught were things I'd already read about because I've been a fairly avid pregnancy book reader. Although, I think the class will be more useful when we get more into Relaxation techniques and newborn care. Even though I know I want that epidural ASAP, I also know that shite happens which can prevent you from getting one. Back-up plans are always a good thing in my experience, especially when dealing with such an unpredictable situation. We'll see how the class goes this week.

Ultrasound pics

2008-10-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the crappy resolution, but my phone's camera was the only available to send the pics to my email. But, as promised, better late than never.

17 weeks

22 weeks

Ultrasound #2

2008-10-21T17:04:00.000-07:00

We had our second ultrasound this last week and they said everything looks normal. Hurray for Finn! Unlike last time where he was already awake and mobile, he was fast asleep when we first started looking around. He got moving after a minute or so of being poked at, but I got the feeling that he would've liked to tell the ultrasound tech what she could do with her prodding ways. He looked bigger and more filled out (not so skinny looking) to me this time, which is probably just me since it's not like one gets a true sense of scale with an ultrasound.

There is something infinitely calming about watching him on the screen. I'm finally able to feel him moving around fairly consistently now, but it's still amazingly heart-warming to actually get to see him. They should give me an ultrasound every appointment.

p.s. I'll try to post some ultrasound pics later if my pregnancy addled brain can actually remember. ;)

The all-clear

2008-09-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

So, I tend to be a worry-wart about things I think are important. A couple of weeks ago, we decided to have an amniocentesis done due to our ages (it was recommended, but not strongly recommended). This is where they stick a very long needle through your abdominal wall, the uterine wall and into the amniotic sac to get a sample of amniotic fluid (this hurts far more than I thought it would, by the way). The sample is then tested for chromosomal disorders. Everything went well with the collection and except for some cramping (which was expected) everything seemed fine afterwards.

We got the results back that everything was normal about a week later, but I still had this nagging in the back of my mind. What if something went wrong with the procedure and I just can't tell? I'm pretty proud of myself for not completely obsessing over it and requiring to see the doctor early so she'd make sure, considering how hormonal I am. I had my first regular appointment with my OB/GYN yesterday after the amnio had been done and I was relieved that everything was fine. Finn's little heartbeat was strong and normal. phwew

It's official...

2008-09-17T16:33:00.000-07:00

The wee parasite is male!! While I did not have a very happy first trimester, I'm starting to feel much better in the last couple weeks and am starting to actually show now (and not just look like I'm gaining weight). I had already outgrown most of my pants before the pregnant belly showed up and I'd only gained about 5lbs since becoming pregnant.

We had our first full ultrasound last week and it was quite amazing to see our lil' man moving around in there and rubbing his face with his hands. He was not horribly cooperative while the Ultrasound tech was taking measurements of all his wee body parts, but considering that he is spawn of Hubby and I, I'm pretty positive that is not a shocking development. Although, perhaps one would not expect that particular trait to be apparent in the womb.

Hubby was a little disappointed about the sex because he had been wanting a girl. He somehow got it in his head that girls are easier. I keep telling him that if he had experienced the teenage years of a typical girl, then he may not have been wishing for it quite so hard.

Huge Life Changes

2008-09-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

Before starting to blog again, I will explain my long absence. I suppose it is safe now to announce to the world that Hubby and I are expecting our first child. Let's start by getting the basic facts out there: I'm 16 weeks along; we don't know the sex yet; the baby is due in mid to late February.

The first trimester saw me so sick, fatigued and unable to concentrate on much of anything that it's a wonder I made it to work as often as I did. All I wanted to do was either sleep or watch mindless TV in a vertical or semi-vertical position - at least, when I wasn't bowing before the Porcelain God. Even sitting up for long periods of time made me exhausted. At least they didn't have to put me on a portable IV, so I suppose it could have been worse. One thing I'd like to know is why the hell people don't warn you that nasal congestion can be a symptom of pregnancy. Because seriously, it is the main instigator of the vomiting in my life. Yeah, I was nauseated anyway, but I wasn't actually puking until my nose decided to create more mucous than ever in my recent memory. And the best thing about it: it may get a little bit better, but it's one of those symptoms that will probably hang out my whole pregnancy. GAH! While I totally understand that the end result is worth all the discomfort and woe, I must say that I now have a vile hatred for women who claim to "love" being pregnant. Crazy bitches.

I used to kind of snicker to myself about some of the more hormonal issues associated with pregnancy like "pregnancy brain" and crying at the drop of a hat. Not anymore. I apologize whole-heartedly for my unfounded skepticism. My short-term memory is so completely shot that it's a wonder I leave the house fully clothed sometimes. And the crying - I now have to avoid ALL commercials on cable television, especially the ones dealing with charitable organizations. I was completely inconsolable after viewing a World Wildlife Fund commercial - I can't even imagine how horrible it would have been if it was that damn Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial or one of the multitude of aid for children in third world countries spots. I swear that the majority of donations for these charities are from pregnant women.

I must also give boatloads of thanks and credit to Hubby - he has been the best, nicest, most helpful man in the whole world since I have been feeling poorly. He’s done an amazing job of taking care of us. He has pretty much single-handedly been taking care of all the household responsibilities and always helps with making dinner (when he's not just making it himself).

So, this is why I've been absentee recently. While I can't guarantee I'll be a regular poster, I'll try to keep things a wee bit more up-to-date.

Rick Doom

2008-06-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

Ganked from CollegeHumor.com:

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Rest In Peace Mr. Winston

2008-06-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

Stan Winston, a visual effects icon, passed away this week. Anyone who is a fan of film, especially fantasy/horror/sci-fi genre film, should know his name. He was the master behind the make-up and visual effects on Terminator, Jurassic Park, Aliens and Edward Scissorhands, among many many others.

There is an incredibly touching tribute over at AICN with letters from friends, colleagues and family remembering the great Mr. Winston.

I know that Erica will probably be appreciative of being pointed that direction, as I remember him being one of her personal heroes.

SBMPDs...

2008-05-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

...that could steal me from Hubby if they asked me to run away with them.*
*And they actually existed.

I've decided to do not one, but two follow-up posts to the last one. Mostly because I believe it's necessary to make a separate post for SBMPDs, as otherwise, I'm just not being fair and giving due consideration to those who do not fall into this category. You'll note that the majority of actors who are or have been on the laminated list are below. Again, in no particular order:

Mr. John Thornton (Richard Armitage), North & South

My admiration for Thornton is as much for what he doesn't say, as for what he does. His feelings are plainly written on his face. There is so much passion lurking just beneath the surface of this man that you just want to hole up with him somewhere and make him scream (in a good way). My favorite scene in the series is where Thornton is watching Margaret Hale drive away in a carriage, seemingly never to return. He only says one line, but the camera lingers on his face for quite a few moments as she drives off. It's amazing how you can see him run the gamut of emotions from hope to near despair and grief. Plus, you have to admire a man who will protect a woman even through feelings of jealousy and the belief that his love will forever be unrequited.

Robert Parks (Clive Owen), Gosford Park

To be perfectly honest, I'm trying to think of Clive Owen in anything where I don't want him to whisk me away somewhere and do dirty, dirty things (okay, maybe not in King Arthur - sorry, Clive, but that movie was horrid). However, as I should limit my gushing, I'll stick to Robert Parks. He is smooth, sexy and honourable. And while wishing to commit murder may not be such a great aspiration, at least his motives are honest. He's not doing it for personal gain - it is to avenge his mother. I mean, whose heart doesn't melt a little for him when you find out his background?

Mr. Edward Rochester (Toby Stephens), Jane Eyre

Jane Eyre is one of my favorite novels of all time. There are only two adaptations that I truly enjoy, both of which because they actually got actors who understood the Mr. Rochester in the book. Too many adaptations completely miss Rochester's wit and sense of humour and focus too heavily on his cynicism. While I also loved Timothy Dalton in the role, I think Toby Stephens does a slightly better job of balancing the highly faceted Rochester's many moods. Rochester is a good man beneath it all, but is incredibly flawed. He wants so desperately to find a little happiness after his misfortunes that you forgive his deception.

Mr. George Knightley (Jeremy Northam), Emma

I'd like to come clean right now and say that Emma is the only Austen novel I don't particularly enjoy. Mostly because I simply cannot relate to the spoiled rich girl who must always have her own way and treats people's lives like her playthings. Granted she comes around in the end, but I digress... This should be about Knightley. I adore this character - and especially how Northam plays him. He is the quintessential English gentleman - polite and well-mannered, generous to those less fortunate, gallant, witty and very sensible. And he is also a very good FRIEND - one who is not afraid to call you out when you do something mean and stupid, but still love you - which is what your friends should do. You can see that it physically hurts him to have to tell Emma that she is being cruel and behaving badly - that scene is so well played by Northam that I actually feel worse for Knightley than I do for Emma.

Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy (Colin Firth), Pride & Prejudice

This one really shouldn't surprise anyone. Like Thornton, Darcy is not one to speak unless necessary. You learn more about him from expression and action than from what he says - and seeing as he often says the wrong thing, it's just as well. It's interesting to me that my favorite Darcys (Firth and - a close second - Matthew MacFadyen in the 2005 feature film) are actually not very conventionally handsome. It's the fact that they both express Darcy's innate reserve and shyness so well, along with his repressed passion for Lizzy. But I believe the thing that puts Firth's version of Darcy above the others is the (not very well) disguised impatience with those he finds ridiculous. My favorite example is when he is speaking with Lizzy and Col. Fitzwilliam at the piano in Rosings: Lady Catherine rudely interrupts to insist she be told of their conversation and Darcy's reaction to her is perfection. He rolls his eyes at her in exasperation without actually doing so - but it's clear from his expression that is what he would do if he wasn't so damn well-bred.

Film Characters...

2008-05-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

...that could steal me from Hubby if they asked me to run away with them.*

With not much going on (at least, not anything I wish to write about) lately. Here is some Internet silliness in the meantime. Note that these are all film (not TV) characters, in case some of you who know me personally are wondering why the hell some of the men from my laminated list are hiding (maybe I'll do a follow-up post later). So I give you, in no particular order:

Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), Say Anything...

"She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

I know, I know. This is one of the biggest cliches in movie fandom. What female with a warm heart and a pulse doesn't love Lloyd Dobler? But really, if you think about it, he does some kind of creepy things. He's obsessed with a girl who he's barely spoken to. He has to know where she is at all times when they are at the graduation party. He calls her incessantly and sits outside her house all night when she breaks up with him. What is actually so attractive about him is that he does all of these things without once coming off like a psycho. Who wouldn't fall in love with a man who can make proto-typical stalker moves seem desperately romantic?

Miyamoto (Takeshi Kaneshiro), Ritana (aka Returner)

This movie may be derivative drivel, but it is FUN derivative drivel. It is an action/sci-fi anime come to life - complete with apocalypse, aliens, crazy sadistic villain, a Transformer and a bickering hero couple. Miyamoto is what every action hero should be: a bit cocky, slightly goofy at appropriate times, a little detached, a reluctant hero with a hidden heart of gold, looks hot in a leather trench coat, and 100% able to kick your ass without thinking. Throw in the fact that playing him is unbelievably attractive Kaneshiro and you have girls swooning in seconds. Miyamoto is what Neo should have been in the horrible Matrix sequels.

Jason "J.D" Dean (Christian Slater), Heathers

"The extreme always seems to make an impression."

While I do love the '80s John Hughes movies, none of them have the place in my heart that Heathers does. While it is not a completely successful film, it's so much more my style. I was that kid who would fantasize about killing off the rich bitches and assholes who harassed the rest of us in grisly, not safe for work ways (of course, I was far too shy to say, let alone DO, anything). So it should be no surprise that I love it so because of J.D. So what if he's a sociopath? He's witty, cute, wickedly funny and smirks smugly with the best of them. I can completely forgive him killing off Queen Bitch and the Jock Dunces. I almost don't care that he wants to commit mass murder. I did want to kill Veronica for letting the poor boy blow himself into tiny nondescript pieces. But then, I am that sucker girl who always wants to make excuses for and rehabilitate the sexy bad guys.

Westley (Cary Elwes), The Princess Bride

"As you wish."

Being the anglophile that I am, Westley exhibits all those traits that I love best about the Brits and their fantasy heroes. Dry, sarcastic sense of humor - check. An overdeveloped sense of honor - check. Swashbuckling swordplay - check. Lines which if spoken by anyone without a British accent would sound hokey - check. Oh, Cary Elwes... Why couldn't you have continued to be as good as you are in this film? It makes baby Jesus cry.

Christian (Ewan McGregor), Moulin Rouge

I am such a girl when it comes to musicals. And I have to say Christian is my favorite musical hero. So innocent in the ways of the world and so confident in his belief that love and truth can overcome all obstacles. You really don't get to know Satine all that well in this film, but part of why you are so sympathetic towards her is because you have utter faith in Christian's unquestioning and undying love for her. He is completely devoted - she is his world. Every female wants to feel like they are loved like that. Not that he doesn't have flaws, but they are understandable, and very human. Add in the fact that the boy can sing and write poetry and every gooey romantic braincell just combust.

*and they actually existed.

Quote of the Day

2008-05-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

"Arguing on the internet is kind of like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded."

-from the Rants and Raves section of Craigslist (but disseminated to me through Hubby's co-worker, Devin)

Whew!

2008-05-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

The move is finally done and we have most of our stuff unpacked and orderly-like. The only thing I enjoy about moving is getting to decorate. It's very fun for me to decide where all the furniture belongs, and to get to hang my pictures and place the knick-knacks. It makes everything feel brand-new. It may be a simple pleasure, but it gives me immense satisfaction. Perhaps it's the control aspect of it. I do like to get my own way, and this is one area where I don't have to worry about interference with that.

My project at work got extended... again. *sigh* I was looking forward to things slowing down a bit, but the Nogs are nitpicky bastards. Oh well. At least I get a 3 day weekend next week for my niece's wedding.

Moving sucks!

2008-04-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I were supposed to move into our new place yesterday. We had requested permission to move in a few days early so we could move on a weekend where more friends could be conned into helping, and we could have a few days before the 1st of the month to clean the old place. The new landlord agreed, but the old tenants ran into some issues with their moving truck. We received an email at noon yesterday, letting us know that the old tenants would not be out of the house before 10pm that night. Luckily, we have a few days leeway before we have to be out of our place, but it still makes me want to rip my hair out. Thank gawd we hadn't paid to rent a moving truck or we'd be out fifty bucks for cancelling the same day. All our clothes and the bathroom had already been packed up so we're having to stay with a friend until tomorrow. This also extends the whole moving freak out of my cats for another two days. Needless to say, I am not amused. I'd been losing sleep stressing about this move anyway because it's bad timing for work (i.e. I won't be able to take any time off for unpacking or moving day). Extending the stress another two days is exhausting. I am, however, getting out of most of the moving tomorrow as the loading and unloading of the truck will be done while I am at work. And I don't even feel a little guilty about this. ^_~

The Eye of the Tornado

2008-03-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't know what to do with myself lately. I feel so entirely disconnected with everything around me. I don't feel close to anyone or anything. I think I've been trying to downplay the severity of my mood. I'm having a hard time being around people at all - it's overwhelming for me to even attempt to make conversation. Besides, who wants to listen to someone who obviously feels so completely dull? I'm so frustrated I could scream; but, that would require energy that I do not have. Even small tasks seem impossible. Failure to form coherent trains of thought is the constant state of my brain. I want to crawl up somewhere and without a thought in my head - which is impossible because my brain is constantly racing with horrible thoughts (please don't even ask - it's embarassing the sort of paranoid bullshite going through my head...).

I really should get in touch with my doctor or get a referral for a therapist, but that also feels daunting. Therapy never felt comforting or comfortable - I always feel like you can't really ask a stranger to take an interest in your life and feelings. But maybe it's time for me to make a concerted effort to get over that.

Unenjoyment - NO MORE!

2008-03-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hubby accepted a job offer yesterday! I'm very excited and proud of him for getting out of contracting. To say that I've been hitting a low point and feeling a little overwhelmed by the situation would be an understatement. But... Things are looking up. Now if I can just convince someone to keep me company to get all my backed-up laundry completed that I had absolutely no motivation to do while Hubby was unemployed and I was wallowing in the stress, I'll be ecstatic. Speaking of which... I really need to go through my closet and either throw away or donate the old stuff I don't want or will not wear. It's getting ridiculous - the size of my wardrobe. Hrm...

Addicted

2008-03-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

I love her... especially when she does her little zombie dance.

16 (not so) Random Meme

2008-03-07T12:27:00.000-08:00

Here's how you play: once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 16 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose 8 people to be tagged, and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment and tell them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers.**

Random Things

1. I am the definition of a Night Owl. I hate getting up early, and have an incredibly hard time falling asleep before midnight. This makes me incredibly lazy about my appearance other than clothing. It simply takes too much time away from sleep to make the time to put on makeup or do more than run a brush through my hair after the shower (okay, sometimes I put my hair up, but that takes all of 15 seconds longer than just brushing it) before leaving for work. Pretty much the only times I bother with either is if it's a special occasion or I'm feeling down and want to look nice to help lift my spirits.

2. I hate having nothing to do at work. I know I should be happy to occasionally get paid to sit on my arse, but it makes me want to drive large wooden spikes through my brain to stop the voices... Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that last part.

3. I used to walk into wardrobes and closets and always check to see if they would take me to Narnia. I sometimes cry because I miss that little girl who believed so deeply in magic.

4. I am an insanely angry driver. I undoubtedly believe that the majority of the populace has approximately 90% of their brain shut off when they get behind the wheel of a car. I am that asshole who will slam on the brakes when someone is tailgating me on a one lane road where there are 3 cars in front of me that are not going any faster than me.

5. "Jackass" is my favorite insult - it is my go to word, especially when in an automobile (see above). But I am also incredibly fond of "fuckwit". I should make myself use it more often.

6. The quickest way to make me shut down and ignore everything you say is to insult me - we all have a right to our opinions. If you attack me or try to impose your opinion on me, I refuse to listen to a word you say. I have no tolerance for people who think others are stupid because they disagree with a matter of opinion.

7. Considering what little patience I have for stupidity (not ignorance, there is a difference), it amazes me that I have yet to commit second degree murder. There is a reason I do not own a firearm.

8. I suffer from night terrors. The sort where Hubby has to wake me up in the middle of the night because I'm screaming and yelling in my sleep. But I never remember my dreams - maybe that's a good thing.

9. I see no real point in photo-realistic paintings of things I could take a photograph of. While I can appreciate the level of technique involved, it isn't what makes art interesting to me. I think it's far more interesting to view a painting or drawing where you can get a feeling for the artist's emotional state or frame of mind than one which is trying to be a perfect copy of life. But don't take this wrong, I'm not saying it's not "valid art", it's just not appealing to me.

10. I once became so angry as a child that I brandished a knife at another child... Granted, it was a butter knife, but dammit I would've used it if she hadn't stopped following me around repeating every word I said - which she had been doing for a very... very... long... time.

11. LARP'ing and LARP'ers frighten me. This is a facet of geekdom that is utterly perplexing to me. I can see the appeal and mechanics of both MMORPGs (i.e. World of Warcraft style games) and table-top RPGs (like Dungeons and Dragons) but Live-Action Role Playing is completely beyond my comprehension. Trying to understand why people do this makes my head hurt.

12. I have two middle names because I couldn't bring myself to part with my maiden name when I was married. Unfortunately, I could not convince Hubby to take my name instead.

13. Intelligence, wit, humour and passion are far sexier attributes than a pretty face or body. This is why if given the choice between a Jack Black or a Leonardo DiCaprio, I'll take Jack every time.

14. My childhood heroes are Jane Eyre (because she was an independent woman who made her own way in the world and would not be bullied by society - albeit a fictitious one - in a time when women were considered commodities) and Princess Leia (if you can't figure that out...). I'm not sure if it's pitiable or not that I never had any real life heroes...

15. Storytelling (be it books or film) should always be either entertaining or interesting and stay true to the story being told. I really could care less if your storytelling style is innovative or original if you can't hold my attention or make me want to throw things because the characters make no sense. Now, that doesn't mean it can't be challenging or unexpected, just that it needs to be a cohesive story when all is said and done; and please don't bore the piss out of me.

16. I have become addicted to 19th Century literature internet fan fiction. These mostly consist of modern updates of classic novels and "What if..." scenarios. In addition to these I also read a lot of fic based on the Gisborne character from the new BBC Robin Hood. While I think the show is some of the most horribly written crap on TV, we all know I'm obsessed with Richard Armitage (c'mon, you knew I couldn't blog without bringing him up at least once).

** I refuse to tag anyone. You can't make me. :P Also, I think I should point out to anyone that thinks my brain is fairly random, it was really hard to think of 16 "random" things to write.

Unenjoyment... yet again

2008-02-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

Today is Hubby's last day on his current contract. The thought of him being back on unenjoyment is not pleasing. It's my biggest issue with him. While I don't want him to be in a job he hates, I am frustrated with his being a contractor. I feel like it holds us back from our goals. I've reached my 30's and now my patience is running thin. I'm trying to be supportive, but I'm at the point where my sympathy is running out - which, of course, makes me feel guilty, selfish, bitchy, and generally like a bad wife. I will probably put on a brave face and say that it'll all work out... But sometimes I wonder if I don't do more harm than good by doing so. It doesn't make me content with the situation and doesn't encourage Hubby to put himself out there. To his credit, he HAS started looking and applying for a new job; and his agency is trying to place him elsewhere as soon as possible.

I suppose I'm being preemptively stressed out about this. Deep breath. Okay, I'll give it a few weeks and see where I am then...

Ledger's passing

2008-01-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

I try to steer clear on my blog from commenting too much on celebrities (except on a few occasions where the need to gush about how painfully attractive a few favorites are rears its head). But the death last week of Heath Ledger still has me a bit stunned. I've never been gah-gah over him, but have always respected his talent as an actor - even in films I didn't particularly enjoy, he was always interesting to watch. I came across two tributes to Mr. Ledger today, both of which made me cry.

Christopher Nolan in Newsweek

Daniel Day-Lewis' dedication at SAG Awards

It's incredibly tragic to see one so talented die so young, especially when you know that he would only get better with time.

A few movie recommendations (in no particular order):

Brokeback Mountain

This is a beautiful and tragic love story. It makes me sad that people dismissingly label it a "gay cowboy" movie. It's so much more than that.

10 Things I Hate About You

A highly entertaining teen-movie adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew. Much of what makes this movie work is the casting of Ledger and Julia Stiles. Many teen-movie Shakespeare adaptations have come after it, but none as successful.

Monsters Ball

The Four Feathers

I first saw Ledger in 10 Things, but these two performances were what made me sit up and take notice. The Four Feathers is a horribly underrated film - it has it's flaws, but is incredibly touching.

Happy 33rd to Hubby!

2008-01-28T11:01:00.000-08:00

Hubby celebrated his 33rd year in the world this last Saturday. I took him to a matinee of the Seattle Symphony performing "Play! A Video Game Symphony". It was quite fun. Especially when they played the more iconic themes like Super Mario Bros and Legend of Zelda - the crowd actually got a little rowdy (at least for the Symphony). I did, however, feel a little jipped when they switched up the program and played an arrangement of music from Guild Wars instead of "Swing de Chocobo" from the Final Fantasy series. Screw those guys! I want my Chocobo theme! I was also very pleased that they played a medley from Chrono Trigger, which is only my favorite video game ever! While I love the music from the newer games, like Metal Gear Solid and World of Warcraft, I'm more impressed by the symphonic arrangements for the old 8- & 16-bit games. Mostly because the newer games are pretty much already scored for symphony. Overall, we were both quite pleased.

Further proof of my Night Owl status

2008-01-24T10:49:00.000-08:00

To say I am not a "morning person" is an understatement. I had the bright idea of making a before work appointment with the new veterinarian for our boy Sticky. (All is well with him, he was just due for a check-up. And as Fae is no longer working at the clinic where we used to take him, we saw no reason to go so far to take him to the doctor.) I am now heavily regretting my choice of appointment times. Not only am I getting an overtired headache, I feel like I can't think straight. But will I be able to take a nap or go to bed early to compensate? Of course not. Probably around three or four o'clock this afternoon, I will hit my second wind and will be wired until 10-11. *sigh*

Just call me "Ebola Girl"

2008-01-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

Maybe Ebola is exaggerating things just a tad, but I have been ill for the past 10 weeks straight. I have been infected with bronchitis, the flu (twice), and a gastrointestinal virus pretty much one right after the other in that amount of time. Apparently that flu vaccine was completely useless. I have decided that I will never be able to travel to any location where there is the possibility of malaria or dysentery as my immune system will probably just shut down altogether.

Needless to say, this has created complications galore. I have missed so much work, I'm a little surprised I haven't been reprimanded in some way. My house is a disaster. I need desperately to get a day or two to clean, tidy and do laundry. It has also prevented me from starting on my "resolutions" for this year. But I am determined to get started this week.

So, I leave this very short update with a lovely picture of my man, Richard Armitage. Why? Because I can and because he's pretty.

New Year, Same Deal

2008-01-02T11:11:00.000-08:00

I hate to use the term "resolution", because it implies that things are complete and no longer need attention. That being said, here are some issues I intend to work on in the coming year.

I will try to be better about talking about my frustrations with Hubby without losing my temper.
I will try to make it to the gym at least 3 times per week by packing a workout bag to take with me in the morning. My biggest trial in getting to the gym is getting home after work and not wanting to leave the house again.
I will try to be better about money management and impulse buying. I will not purchase items for myself or the house which are not on a "need" list. I will avoid shopping when I'm depressed, which, as we all know, is just a colossally bad idea.
I will make my own lunches for work and get back in the habit of cooking dinner at home at least 2-3 times per week.
I will try to get better at making small talk and being more sociable. This will be very difficult for me as I really don't enjoy talking about nothing. However, I also know that in order to get anywhere at work, I'm going to have to become better at working the office politics. That is not to say I'm going to start expressing opinions which aren't my own. I'm just not wired to be able to do so.

I reserve the right to add to this in the coming year, but I think that is a pretty good starting list.

Punk Band Name Generator

2007-12-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

Your Punk Band Name Is...

The Intellectual Tater Tot

What's Your Punk Band Name?

I got this my first try. I have officially stopped looking for my future band name. =D

I'm a sap; I admit it.

2007-12-20T13:04:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas time. Probably unreasonably so. I put up my tree and lights the weekend after Thanksgiving, and have to fight the urge to put it up sooner. Luckily for Hubby, my reason normally outweighs my desire in this regard. I am that weirdo that is constantly humming songs of the season to themselves, sometimes unconsciously. I sometimes have to keep myself from skipping. It's actually a little frightening.

I dig out copies of classic (both old and new) holiday programs and films such as: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Nightmare Before Christmas (which is also played in my house at Halloween), Love Actually, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, White Christmas, Holiday Inn, and the beautiful, though still cliche, It's A Wonderful Life.

I inundate Hubby with my Christmas song collection - I even have my mobile's ringtone changed to a festive selection. AND, I almost always get teary-eyed in the really sappy moments of the songs. For example: "Christmas day will always be, just so long as we have we." Niagara Falls - seriously.

As I get older, I am enamored by the way that Christmas brings family and friends together. Granted, the cynic in me who wants to yell at the top of their lungs that Christmas is nothing but the culmination of our capitalist desires will have a hissy-fit while I admit this, but, at least for me, it's not about the presents. It's about getting to be with the people you love. I suppose that it makes me a little sad to think that people forget that.

Anyway, enough of my spewing Christmas gibberish. I will instead wish all of you out there in the internets a very happy holiday season and leave you with some immortal words from Charlie Brown.

Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year

My TV hero's triumphant return! WaHOOOO!

2007-11-20T16:29:00.001-08:00

O...
M...
G...

I don't know how I could have missed this news. I have been sorely blind and neglectful. Joss, you are my hero. This news makes me so incredibly excited; I think that only Fae could know HOW excited because I'm sure she'll be going through the same emotions when she hears the news. Okay... maybe Hubby will be pretty close. If he already knew about this and didn't tell me, heads, or more specifically - head, will roll. Thanks to Wendy for posting this on her blog, otherwise, I probably would have missed it completely.

Collect the clues and Connect the dots!

2007-11-02T10:30:00.001-07:00

I lurve The Hives. They are hands-down the most fun band I've seen. My brother and I saw them last night at Showbox Sodo. This was my second Hives show (I saw them once while we lived in Boston as well). The first time I saw them, I wasn't very familiar with their music - I went to the show on a whim as I had heard they were pretty good. I went out and bought all their albums the next day; they had impressed me so much. Last night, I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot the whole time they were on-stage. They are incredibly energetic and engaging. They are not only a great band, but also consummate showmen (something which too many bands don't even try to be these days). Howlin' Pelle Almqvist is one of the best frontmen, at least living, if not ever. He's all punk rock sass and rock'n'roll attitude - the best mix of Iggy Pop and Mick Jagger (with a little Roger Daltry Microphone-Twirling-Action thrown in). He is so adorable and sexy that I want to put him in my pocket and take him home with me. But enough of my gushing - just go see them if you have a chance. You won't be disappointed.

Remiss.. Remiss.. Remiss.. Yet Again!

2007-10-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

Once again, I have neglected the blogworld for other pursuits. I wish I could say that they are more worthy pursuits, but I am fairly certain that the majority of people would not use the phrase "worthy use of time" when discussing fan sites for a certain SBMPD. I am, in fact, absolutely positive that the words to be used would be more along the lines of: sad, pathetic, obsessive, {insert your own synonym here as I am too lazy to find any for you}. I say to you this: Don't you judge me!!! How can you not be a little obsessed with a man who says things like: "The best entertainment in the world is watching your dad playing charades." Come on! How adorable is that?

It's not that I've done nothing else with my time. I've been trying to get through my ridiculously long Netflix queue (seriously, I could watch one DVD a day and still not get through it until well over a year from now). I've also been trying to spend more time reading the printed word (those little things called "books", you know). I realize that many believe paper printed with letters making up words and sentences are archaic and outdated, but I happen to enjoy it... Thank you very much!

I've also been trying to work up the courage to make some major life changes. I'm not happy with the way my life is progressing. I spend far too much time with people and tasks which bore me to death, but doing them anyway because it's expected. There were places I always pictured myself being in by the time I was in my 30's which I'm not even close to accomplishing. My brain is slowly seeping out my skull due to lack of intellectual stimulation.

I also am starting to come to the realisation that I need to get back into seeing a professional counselor. I've dug myself into a hole, and I am slowly understanding that I have no comprehension how to get out of it. Talking with friends and family has helped me parse out my individual issues, but not helped with finding ways to either live with them or change them. I'm incredibly pig-headed when I believe I'm in the right - which will only hinder me in the long run. I need someone to tell me I'm being unreasonable and why. Someone who is not connected to me personally because I know I won't listen to them.

To sum up, a lot of shite has been going through my head lately - most of which is not safe for Internet publication. But, I will try to be more forthcoming with the updates (not that I'm making promises, mind you).

Kai!

2007-10-03T10:21:00.001-07:00

For some odd reason this reminded me of Ricky.... Hrm....

Obviously....

2007-08-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

I wuv my Miss Anni. Thanks to Sassy for sending me the pic. :)

For those of us in the Nintendo Generation:

2007-08-06T13:03:00.000-07:00

Cat bites are teh sux0rs!1!

2007-07-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

Isaac getting chin scratchin' lovin' from his Mama.

My little Isaac was mauled by Abby (aka MamaKat). At least, we're relatively certain it was Abby as we have never had any injuries in our household before bringing her in, and I have been witness to her challenging Isaac at feeding time by swiping at him unprovoked. I'm pretty sure she has decided that she needs to be the Alpha cat of the house.

Well, I came home on Sunday night to find scabs all over Isaac's head and a lovely fluid filled half-baseball sized pocket on the right side of his neck. As I used to work as a veterinary technician, I immediately recognized it as an abscess (warning: don't click link if you are weak of stomach). I took him to the vet the next morning and he had surgery to drain the abscess and have tubes places to keep the wound open so it could continue to drain until the infection had cleared.

Isaac's head is under the blue e-collar and the drain is over the right side of his neck/shoulder.

The poor guy was so loopy from the anesthesia and pain-killers when he got home the next day. Unfortunately, he had to be confined to our bigger bathroom for a couple days while the wound continued to drain, as we rent our house and can't afford to get blood stains on the carpet. Then yesterday, I noticed that there was a scabby area over his abscess site that didn't appear to be healing...

Today, he had his follow-up appointment with the vet. He is going to have surgery again because that little spot which didn't appear to be healing is actually necrotic tissue and is going to have to be removed. He'll have to go back in on Monday to have the wound debrided again, but at least this time he won't have to have the drain put in. He'll also need an extra week of antibiotics.

My poor Isaac. I know he's psycho, but he didn't deserve this. I feel guilty because I brought Abby into the house. I told Jim that she gets one more chance. There will be no three strikes for her. She injures one of the other cats again, and we will have to find her a new home - one where she would be the only cat. I love her, but I have a longer lasting responsibility to the other cats. It would be different if she had been adopted before Isaac or the other cats.

Isaac trying desperately to groom himself around the annoying e-collar.

We're also going to try some behavioral modification items at home (i.e. getting both Isaac and Abby collars with bells, getting more litter boxes, possibly making Abby an indoor/outdoor kitty, etc.). Hopefully, it'll all work out.

Congrats to Lissa!

2007-07-27T14:53:00.001-07:00

Lissa & Presley

And welcome to Presley Erin! Another beautiful lil' June baby girl. Bebes Bebes Everywhere!

Proof that the Hubby is not the meanie he presumes to be:

2007-07-27T10:44:00.001-07:00

Hubby with Miss Annika

It is simply impossible to look like a tuff guy when you are gazing lovingly at a small child. Sorry, honey.

I have been remiss...

2007-07-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

...in my blogger duties. I admit it. Okay? But as I intend to make THREE posts today (not including this one), get off my back, alright! I've been busy. Real life must come before the Internets.

p.s. The final Harry Potter book is more perfect than I could have hoped. I adore you Ms. Rowling.

I'm a bad, bad girl...

2007-06-28T15:47:00.000-07:00

It is incredibly bad for me to get bored at work. Allow me give you two examples of why this is:

Example #1:

Example #2:

When I get bored at work, I have little choice but to surf the Internet. What is one of my favorite Internet pastimes? Shopping. Now, I could go on and on justifying why these were essential purchases as they are both from boutique sellers and not brand name, you can buy them anywhere kind of clothes. Oh, how I adore the collar on Example #1 and that my breasts will look fabulous in Example #2. But that simply will not do when one's Hubby is a miser. Luckily, I am actually a thrifty shopper and did not empty my pocketbook for a cute top (or two). But still, no more frivolous purchases for me this month! Besides, the shopping actually started with good intentions: I needed to get a birthday present for Mr. J03L and an anniversary present for Hubby (both of which I was successful in attaining as well). I'm actually quite excited about Hubby's present. But, I'm not telling what it is.... It's a secret until July 29th. ^_^

Better Living Through Chemistry

2007-06-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

Finally got in to see the doctor on Tuesday after the prescription for my medication ran out. I'd been off for over a month. I haven't slept in two weeks. We decided to go back to the regimen I was on before moving back to Seattle (I didn't have insurance and needed a more affordable option) as it worked much better for me. Yesterday, I got to take my lovely little yellow pill at bedtime, and actually slept the entire night without disturbance. I already feel so much more alert than I have in weeks. It's amazing what sleep deprivation will do to a body. Maybe now I will be able to speak civilly to Hubby and not take his head off every time I open my mouth... I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

Welcome to the World Bebe Anni!

2007-06-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

We have such sights to show you...

Congratulations Fae & Chubb! *hugs* *smooches*

Tel and Sassy tagged me!

2007-05-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

The rules: Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those who are tagged need to write on their own blog their own 7 random facts as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven other people and list their names on your blog. Then you leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.*

I once got so angry as a child that I grabbed a knife and brandished it at another child... Granted, it was a butter knife, but dammit I would've used it if she hadn't shut the hell up!
I have two middle names because I couldn't bring myself to part with my maiden name when I was married.
I used to walk into wardrobes and closets and always check to see if they would take me to Narnia. I sometimes cry because I miss that little girl who believed so deeply in magic.
I talk in my sleep when I have nightmares.
My heroes are still Jane Eyre (because she was an independent woman who would not be bullied - albeit a fictitious one - in a time when women were considered commodities) and Princess Leia (Do I really need to justify this one?). I'm not sure if it's pitiable or not that I never had any real life heroes...
The quickest way to make me shut down and ignore everything you say is to insult me - we all have a right to our opinions. If you attack me or try to impose your opinion on me, I refuse to listen to a word you say.
My dream is to someday have a corporate sponsor. I want to have someone who will foot the bills so I can do the things I love: painting, reading, listening to music, travel, theatre. Alas, it is not meant to be. *sigh*

*I'm actually not going to tag anyone else (rule-breaker that I am) because I think Tel and Sassy tagged everyone I would have but one (and she did something similar already on her blog recently).

In my youth, I was an INFP...

2007-05-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

You Are An INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's Your Personality Type?

For more info on Myers-Briggs Personality Types, this site is a good reference.

For Aki

2007-05-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

I admit it. You are right. Rufus Wainwright is adorable.

I am a fickle fickle girl...

2007-05-24T17:17:00.000-07:00

How many times in her life is a girl allowed to change her laminated list? I have an unnerving adoration for a whole class of actors who we will refer to as Smoldering British Men in Period Drama (SBMPD). In fact, every man on my laminated list has, at least once, worn a cravat on film or t.v. Is it really fair to replace a former SBMPD on the laminated list with another, newer model? Or should I just give up the list entirely and inform the Hubby that any man who has appeared in a film or BBC mini-series wearing a coat with tails is fair game for me, and he cannot be maddened by his wife's obvious pathology regarding the only men on Earth who do not look ridiculous in a top hat without a song and dance number accompanying them. I know I'm not alone in this disease.

Case in point: I've discovered a new SBMPD... Richard Armitage. I watched North and South about three weeks ago for the first time. I thought my ovaries would burst. I'm obsessing. I've ordered everything he's in that I can get my hands on from Netflix. He plays a villain on the new BBC series Robin Hood... We all know my penchant for bad boys, especially ones hoping for redemption... So I'm left wondering if another revision of the laminated list is in order. But seriously, I can't keep revising every time a new SBMPD appears! I'd have a new list every year! Which sort of defeats the purpose of the list in the first place, really; hence the lamination and everything. This is why I think I'm going to make the call to just get rid of every man on the list below number one (Ewan McGregor) and just have "SBMPD" in very large font underneath. At least it's honest... if a little indecisive. :P

Most certainly the hippest "Bruce" of them all...

2007-05-15T13:33:00.000-07:00

The Happy Bride

2007-05-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

Shonna and I went to a Chuck Palahniuk reading/signing last week for his new book Rant. It was pretty interesting to hear his thoughts on his role as a novelist. He also read some short stories ("Cold Calling", about an outbound telemarketer, was hilarious). After his last reading I attended, there was some question over the truthfulness of the story "Guts" among some friends. Well, we found out that it is actually based on stories which were told to Mr. Palahniuk when doing research with a Sex Addicts group for Choke. So while the details may have been elaborated upon, the story is, in essence, true. He actually made very similar comments regarding where he gets his ideas to those made by Christopher Moore when we saw his appearance back in January: basically stating that pretty much everything he writes about are either stories told to him by people when doing research for a book or items he finds in newspapers, etc.

In other news, Hubby and I got through most of the boxes in the hallway, so except for two boxes, everything else can go into storage. Now to just get some time to do everything else. *sigh* But I did take the advice of Sassy & Tel and make a list of everything I'd like to see get done. Now I just need to figure out what to tackle next...

Hubby, Bitter Bro' and I went down to Portland over the weekend to visit Sillay Sistah. It was a pretty relaxing visit, which is always appreciated; and I had a grand ol' time hanging with my sister and her daughters. Kira spent a ton of time going through my make-up bag - looking at everything at least ten times. She's gonna be a little glamour girl, I just know it. Natalie is a very smiley baby. And not horribly fussy either. Pretty much the only times she complained was when she was either due to be fed or was needing changing. Both of her girls are just dolls, very easy going and laid back kids.

The ability to concentrate is overrated

2007-04-25T10:43:00.000-07:00

I feel the beast taking over again. The irritability, the inability to sleep all night due to the nightmares, the loss of motivation to do anything other than sitting in front of the TV, the amount of energy it takes to concentrate on a single task (let alone multiple tasks), the doubting, the need to try to isolate myself to avoid hurt feelings (the cause of which is my own imagination but that doesn't make it not there)... I was hoping that the week on-call between projects would help me recoup and charge my batteries, so to speak. Unfortunately, I don't think it's something I can do on my own.

I think I'd feel a bit more able to cope if I could get my surroundings at home where I want them. Hubby is no help with this. He's perfectly happy to let the pile of boxes remain, to let the garbage pile up, to let the piles of random stuff which need to go to the Goodwill and/or the public library sit on the floor of the bedroom, to refuse to get rid of the random sentimental junk which he will never take out of the box. I can't get it done on my own. Hell, I feel overwhelmed just by my laundry, let alone all the tasks which need to be accomplished around the house. I don't know what to do about it. I know I could ask my friends to help, but they have problems of their own and the thought of being a burden is impossible to shake (and no, this isn't a passive-aggressive cry for help either, sometimes I just need to get things off my chest).

Anyway, enough bitching from me. I suppose I'll just need to break up the list into smaller tasks and try to get one thing done at a time. I hear that helps. Why does common sense have to be so hard for the mentally ill?

The Sky Is Blue, And All The Leaves Are Green!

2007-04-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

Hubby just read my post about good break-up songs. He thinks it's scary. I think he's a silly goose. So, just for Hubby, I've posted my newest playlist of songs which make me happy for one reason or another. Sometimes it's the lyrics; sometimes the music; sometimes a little of both.

When I first started making this playlist, I thought I might make mixed CD's for some of my women... But then it became a 65 song monstrosity and I realized that I really can't ask anyone to pay attention for that long. Here's the list in it's entirety (in no particular order):

"Beyond the Sea" - Bobby Darin
"American Music" - Violent Femmes
"I Melt With You" - Modern English
"Welcome To My World" - Nerf Herder
"Ruby Soho" - Rancid
"Evil" - Interpol
"Penny Lane" - The Beatles
"Radio Radio" - Elvis Costello and the Attractions
"Coffee & TV" - blur
"Starlight" - Muse
"The Middle" - Jimmy Eat World
"It Must Be Love" - Madness
"London's Burning" - The Clash
"Beautiful Ones" - Suede (AKA "The London Suede", stoopid Americans)
"Punk Rock Girl" - Dead Milkmen
"Something So Strong" - Crowded House
"Supersonic" - Oasis
"DARE" - Gorillaz
"Skinhead on the MTBA" - Dropkick Murphys
"Basket Case" - Green Day
"Rebels of the Sacred Heart" - Flogging Molly
"Entropy" - Flop
"Are You Gonna Be My Girl" - JET
"Girlfriend" - Matthew Sweet
"Such Great Heights" - The Postal Service
"Float On" - Modest Mouse
"Re-Hash" - Gorillaz
"At The Speed of a Yellow Bullet" - Head Automatica
"Church" - Lyle Lovett
"Spin Around" - Josie and the Pussycats
"The Gentle Art of Making Enemies" - Faith No More
"Riding on the Rocket" - Shonen Knife
"Brass Monkey" - Beastie Boys
"Ana Ng" - They Might Be Giants
"Ask" - The Smiths
"Higher Ground" - Red Hot Chili Peppers or Stevie Wonder (they both rock)
"Carousel" - Mr. Bungle
"The Mayor of Simpleton" - XTC
"El Scorcho" - Weezer
"Kitty" - Presidents of the USA
"Sheep Go To Heaven" - Cake
"Desire" - U2
"Been Caught Stealing" - Jane's Addiction
"Take Your Mama" - Scissor Sisters
"The 59th Street Bridge Song" - Simon and Garfunkel
"Brighter Than Sunshine" - Aqualung
"Temptation" - New Order
"The Drowners" - Suede
"She's Just a Girl" - DEVO
"Tribute" - Tenacious D
"19-2000" - Gorillaz
"Still There's Hope" - Young Fresh Fellows
"Dry the Rain" - The Beta Band
"The Sound of Settling" - Death Cab For Cutie
"I Can't Explain" - The Who
"Everywhere With Helicopter" - Guided By Voices
"Kiss That Frog" - Peter Gabriel
"Main Offender" - The Hives
"Don't Cry Out" - Shiny Toy Guns
"Island In The Sun" - Weezer
"Private Helicopter" - Harvey Danger
"Ride" - The Vines
"Doing the Unstuck" - The Cure
"Do You Want To" - Franz Ferdinand
"Me & You Vs The World" - Space

I will be paring this down a bit, but if anyone wants any specific songs left in or out, let me know. :)

Damn you, Boston!

2007-04-06T12:46:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe that I would have scored higher had it not been for those Lost Years in Boston.

I scored a 80% on the "How Seattle are you?" Quizie! What about you?

Middle Ages Tech Support

2007-04-03T10:31:00.001-07:00

LMAO. I wish I could say that I haven't been there, assisting that same guy...

For Dinodoc

2007-03-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

Broken Heart Tales

2007-03-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to break-up songs a lot recently... I'm not really sure why. It's not like I'm in that place right now. Maybe it's because I have anger issues. Maybe it's because I'm such an emo-kid at heart (shh, don't tell). Anyway, here are some recommendations for excellent break-up and/or it's-the-end-of-the-relationship songs.

"Train in Vain", The Clash
"A Letter to Elise", The Cure
"Title and Registration", Death Cab For Cutie
"The Jeep Song", The Dresden Dolls
"Pearl", Folk Implosion
"Six Feet Under", Jon Auer
"She's Already Made Up Her Mind", Lyle Lovett
"Ticket to Ride", The Beatles
"Gave Up", Nine Inch Nails
"Nothing Better", The Postal Service
"Baby Bitch", Ween
"The Wild Ones", Suede
"The Winner Takes It All", ABBA (Yes, I listen to ABBA. I refuse to be ashamed of this!)
"Better Be Home Soon", Crowded House
"Don't Think Twice", Bob Dylan (If you are one of those who can't stand Bob singing his own songs, this has been covered by others many, many times.)

Feel free to add more to the list, I'm always on the lookout for songs-for-a-good-cry. =D

Congratulations to my Sillay Sistah!

2007-02-22T15:59:00.000-08:00

Sillay Sistah just gave birth to her lovely new daughter. Above is Sistah's new baby girl being held and comforted by her 2yr old. I wuv my nieces. They are too adorable.

Seriously... School is Out

2007-02-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

On Saturday, I went to see Pete Yorn with Sassy and Fae for Sassy's birthday. It was an awesome show, and we had a blast. One of the opening bands was Aqualung, whom I really enjoyed (I had heard of them, but not actually heard any of their songs prior to that evening). When I got home after the show, I went to look them up quick online. The homepage on my internet browser is my email account and I saw that I had a new message from someone on myspace.com. It was someone I really didn't want to hear from.

Back in high school and my first year of college, I had a really intense friendship with this person. We ended up having a falling out that first year of college and parted ways not so amicably. We still went to the same college, so we ran into each other every once in a while and were friendly enough, but things were always awkward.

She wants to chat and catch up.

While I don't regret our past friendship as I learned a lot from it (both good and bad), I feel like I am not even remotely the same person I was then. I'm no longer that painfully shy, silly girl who puts their friends up on a pedestal and ignores their faults. I no longer wear my heart on my sleeve for those people who are undeserving of my implicit trust.

I'm pretty content with my life and am happy with who I am. There are things I wish for, but they don't include hooking up with long lost people from high school. I don't really feel the need to reminisce. I don't really want to dwell on my past. And to be perfectly honest... by the time we no longer talked to one another, I didn't really like her at all anymore. I was happy to no longer be a part of her life. So really, chatting and catching up doesn't seem like such a good plan.

"Why blog about it, then?" you ask. Well, here's the thing... It makes me incredibly frustrated that I am still so affected by contact with her. It's ridiculous to me that, after 10 gaddam years, she emails me and it brings back this flood of anger, resentment and hurt feelings. Why the fuck is that? I don't have any regrets. Why should I care? Fae says it's because it all happened at an age when closure was not really attainable. We were not mature enough to talk things out. This is probably true. So then why don't I just meet up with her to get some closure now? I don't think it's possible. I remember so little about the specifics of the actual situation which prompted us not talking that it's almost pointless. I could speak in generalities of personality traits which I realized I didn't really want in a friend. But not to the situation which brought everything to the exploding point.

So here's my question to you all. Do I just ignore the email? Or do I respond and tell her that, while I hope all is well with her, I'm just not interested? Dilemma....

The Slow Descent to Madness

2007-01-31T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm actually fairly shocked that this movie is not in my Top 5. It actually might have to replace one - or I might have to revise my Top 5 as a Top 6... Hmm. Decisions, decisions.

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for this movie to be released on DVD. Apartment Zero is a beautiful look at one man's slow descent into madness, accelerated by the dangerous influence of a violent madman. It's probably my favorite thriller.

It's the first movie I remember seeing Colin Firth in, and he gives a wonderful, nuanced performance. It's being released on February 20th and all my friends can full expect that I will be restraining you, if necessary, to the couches in your living rooms and making you watch this. :P

Click the pic above to go to a DVD review by Moriarty at Ain't It Cool News for more info.

The New Improved Mama Kat: Abby

2007-01-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

Auntie Sassy says:
AW!

Auntie Sassy says:
Look at her.

Auntie Sassy says:
You are so keeping her, aren't you?

Beck says:
Yes. I asked Hubby yesterday if he still wanted me to make a flyer to put up at the cat clinic and he was like, [sheepishly] "no".

Auntie Sassy says:
hehehe

Auntie Sassy says:
WELL. She is cute.

Beck says:
I told him that it's fine, but that if we ever get another cat who decides to live under our deck, I'm putting my foot down.

Auntie Sassy says:
hehehe

Auntie Sassy says:
Have you ever heard of hobo marks?

Auntie Sassy says:
Like, homeless people would leave marks on buildings to let other homeless people know which homes were kind, which would give food, which would give shelter, which were total assholes?

Auntie Sassy says:
There is totally a "Will feed you and take you in" hobo mark in your back yard.

Auntie Sassy says:

Auntie Sassy says:
For kitties. Not for people.

I <3 Christopher Moore

2007-01-26T13:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that Auntie Sassy will post a much more eloquent detail of the Christopher Moore Experience, so I simply post the picture which proves that we all have a wee crush on Chris. ;)

I'll sleep when I'm dead

2007-01-25T14:57:00.000-08:00

Hubby and I have finally given in to the inevitable. Mama Kat is now an indoor member of our household. About three weeks ago, Baby Sticky and Isaac disappeared. The optimist in me hopes that someone else saw them and decided that they could not live without making them a member of their household. But... the realist in me believes that something not so pleasant most likely occurred.

Shortly after the kittens disappearance, Mama Kat was constantly crying during the day. If we were anywhere in the house which was visible from the sliding glass door, she'd start plaintively meowing and head-butting the glass. This was more than Hubby could endure (as he is still currently my House Bitch and home all day). So, about two weeks ago, Mama Kat (who has been re-christened "Abby") started living in our office, with the understanding that she was coming in so we could foster her to a new "permanent" home. And, a few days later, were transported to the first ring of hell...

I know not of anything quite as annoying as a female cat who desperately needs to get fucked. The sticking of the genitalia in any one's face who even looks sideways at her. The all-day-and-night-every-day yowl. Queens in heat are worse than teenage girls who desperately need a Daddy and a self-esteem.

Hubby and I had not slept in five days. I had not slept - not because of the incessant cries for sex from the cat - because Hubby insisted on waking me up to tell me he couldn't sleep because of the cat.

I called Dinodoc to see if there was anything we could do until we could get her in to be neutered. Unfortunately, her suggestion did not work (I'll just say that it involved a rectal thermometer and me being very embarrassed). So, last night I took Abby in to Dinodoc's place of work, and Dinodoc was nice enough to spay her on her own time (making it much cheaper for us).

We did get some concerning test results prior to surgery. The first FeLV/FIV test which was performed showed her as a very weak positive for FeLV. We did a second test to confirm the results, and this one was negative. As it is much more likely to have a faulty test produce a positive result than a negative, we decided to go ahead and perform the spay and retest Abby in four to six weeks. Also, it's possible that her body may have low-level antibodies to the virus due to exposure, without necessarily contracting the disease herself. She'll have to be isolated from the other cats until we get the retest results.

She went through surgery uneventfully, and woke up quickly.

After bringing her home from the surgery, she pawed and did her little cooing meow at the office door for approximately 15 minutes. And then... sweet, beautiful silence.

F@#$ing Snow

2007-01-11T15:13:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned that I don't miss the snow from Massachusetts? At all? May I reiterate that Nature Hates the PNW?

That is all.

Wow.... Just Wow....

2007-01-04T12:25:00.000-08:00

LARP'ers scare me... but this looks like an interesting documentary.

Mwahahahaha

2007-01-03T12:34:00.000-08:00

Your results:
You are Mystique
Sometimes motherly, sometimes a beautiful companion, but most of the time a deceiving vixen.

Mystique

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Christmas and Cars and Hospitals! OH MY!

2007-01-02T09:57:00.000-08:00

To put it bluntly, Christmas sucked hairy-arse this year. Christmas Eve, Hubby and I were driving down to spend the day and have dinner with my parents and brothers. Some jackass was stopped in the carpool on-ramp to I-90 causing the car behind him to swerve into Hubby's lane and hit him. Our po' lil Echo is now totaled. Seriously... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!??? Who comes to a dead stop on the gaddam freeway?? Fuckwits... [grumble] [grumble]

We did have a nice afternoon and dinner with my family, but shortly after dinner was done, we received a call from Hubby's Father letting us know that Hubby's nephew, Gabbers, was back in the Children's Hospital. This poor kid is on the verge of hysterics all the time due to the poking and steroids. Luckily, he was in the hospital for less than a week this time (probably helps that he was properly diagnosed this visit, by the way).

With Gabbers in the hospital on Christmas Day, we spent the morning in the hospital so that Gabbers could at least know that we gave a shit about his Christmas; and then the in-laws came to our house for dinner. I'm not really sure if I've discussed before the fact that my mother-in-law is certifiably insane. And I'm not exaggerating. Both of her sons freely admit that their mother is less than two steps away from the loony-bin. Visiting her is stressful enough, but having to entertain her? UGH! Luckily, Hubby and I had just received our Wii and we were surprisingly able to get them both to play WiiSports... And they actually had fun. Score one for Nintendo with the video game haters.

Things did eventually calm down, and the rest of the week was much more enjoyable. We brought in the New Year at home all cozy with some bad champagne. And I did some post Christmas clearance shopping with Sassy on New Year's Day. And I only bought two items on our excursion. Hubby would be so proud, the miser. ;)

Merry Christmas, Everybody!!

2006-12-22T10:37:00.000-08:00

Nature hates the PNW...

2006-12-18T13:09:00.000-08:00

... or we are just horribly ill-prepared for any inclement weather. I'm leaning towards option B, but occasionally the drama bee bites me in the arse and I feel like overstating. The power in my house was just restored this afternoon. We had been without since approximately 8:30 pm PT on Thursday. To say that I have been fairly miserable would be an understatement. Luckily, we had friends who either had power or hot water, so we were able to shower and get a hot meal. There were shelters up all around the greater Seattle area, but we have four cats (one of which is ill) who would not be able to come with us were we to leave home. So, Hubby and I have been piling on the blankets (with an extra four-cat-blanket on top), trying not to freeze to death and MAYBE get some sleep. While success was had in not freezing to death (obviously), sleep has been unattainable. When Hubby called earlier this afternoon to tell me the power was back, the first words out of my mouth was "TURN ON THE GADDAM HEAT!!!" I think maybe I got a wee bit overexcited...

I would like to give a huge public thank you to the Sassies and the Faes for allowing us to use showers and suck up some warmth. We would have gone crazy without.

Me + Christmas Shopping = Poorhouse

2006-12-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

I am very close to being done with my Christmas shopping. All my friends and about half of my family are done. Christmas shopping is always problematic for me. I absolutely LOVE shopping for gifts for people. However, this often means that I lack self-control in how much I spend. It's just so hard when you have bought something for someone already and then see something else which is just perfect for them not to purchase the new item, as well. *sigh*

*As a side-note, I must remember to add my Christmas music to my iPod. It's just not the holidays without the soundtrack of the season. I've listed some of my favs below:

The Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth - Bing Crosby and David Bowie
Mistletoe and Holly - Frank Sinatra
Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Ella Fitzgerald
Christmas Night in Harlem - Louis Armstrong
Nuthin' For Christmas - Eartha Kitt
O Little Town of Bethlehem - Young Fresh Fellows
Christmas Time is Here - Diana Krall
Welcome Christmas - from the Soundtrack to How the Grinch Stole Christmas (cartoon, NOT crappy movie)
Holly Jolly Christmas - Burl Ives
Merry Christmas, Baby - Southern Culture on the Skids
White Christmas - Bing Crosby
...and the entire soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas

For Fae

2006-11-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

Joss, how you make me quiver with anticipation.

Sneak peek:Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2006-11-22T15:33:00.001-08:00

9 months is too far away...

From HPANA.com

For Sassy...

2006-11-21T10:25:00.001-08:00

I can hardly contain my excitement. :D

Click the link to the new trailer in the lower right corner.

Winter (or Late Autumn) Doldrums...

2006-11-20T16:43:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned that autumn is technically my favorite season? That is, until we start getting close to winter, as we are now. The air is no longer crisp and inviting, but damp and cold... AND DEVOID OF LIGHT! Here in Seattle, it gets dark at approximately 5:00-6:00pm, depending on the weather, and will continue to get darker earlier and earlier, until it is pitch black by 4:30pm. It does not make for a Happy Becket. I'd like to be able to say that I am not effected by such trivialities, but it would be a big, huge, bold-faced lie. My mood is markedly less chipper than usual; my brain seems sluggish. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.

It doesn't really help matters that work is a little stressful. Mostly because I'm testing a game which I absolutely SUCK at, so I don't feel like I'm performing well, of which I am incredibly self-conscious. I take a lot of pride in doing my job well, so this is really difficult to come to terms with. I don't need to be "the best", but I like to feel that I am at least better than competent. I don't feel like I'm anywhere close to that.

Add to this the fact that Hubby's contract with M$ is officially over (and has been for a couple weeks now), and perhaps my doldrums do not appear so connected to the weather after all. He may go back in 100 days, but, for now, he is on Unenjoyment. He has a lead to a new position, but it requires that he be a "volunteer" for a few weeks before knowing if he has a job. It's something that his old boss from Boston has recommended, though, so I'm not as leery as I may have been had this been from some source he'd never dealt with before.

I've been really proud of Hubby's continued motivation so far. He's become my lil' House Bitch. He gets up by 8:30am every day, makes me coffee and lunch, feeds the cats, does the dishes from the previous night, works out for as long as he can stand it... BEFORE he sits down at the computer and plays WoW the rest of the day. It's amazing. I'm really proud of him. Now if I could just get him to do some errands OUTSIDE of the house which have to be done during the day, I might let him be a stay-at-home husband when, and if, we have kids. But then, he'd have to get over his dreaded aversion to bodily functions (example: he gets physically ill if he has to deal with poop/vomit/urine), so maybe not...

In summation: It is times like these that I thank god for anti-depressants, because I would have probably had a breakdown by now without them. And also, to my Hubby, friends, and family who put up with me when I go through these times, for I really am aware that I am not very fun to be around right now.

A small glimmer of hope...

2006-11-08T10:12:00.000-08:00

And in one of a series of state referendums, voters in South Dakota have overturned a near-total ban on abortions passed by the state legislature earlier this year.

Cheers to South Dakota's voters for upholding a woman's right to choose. It seems that people are too willing to sit by and let people take their rights away from them, piece by piece. While I certainly have no delusions of grandeur that the elections have made huge changes for the better, it does give me a little flicker of hope to see people actually turning out and sticking up for the rights of individuals.

I love Halloween

2006-10-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the much anticipated Halloween Pumpkin Carving Party at Auntie and Mr. Sassy's. In true Halloween spirit, I must share with you all a scene from EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL. This is currently running off-broadway and makes me wish it had opened a year ago so I could make the drive to NYC and go. :D

Gonads and Strife

2006-10-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

Most of you have seen this video, I am sure; but this is one of the very few videos that have been floating around the Internet for years which still makes me giggle like a crazy dentist. I think that my love for this song/video actually reveals a lot about me (and you may interpret that however you wish :P ). This is the video which made me fall in love with the world of online flash animation.

AND... WEEEEE!

Life below deck

2006-10-23T00:32:00.000-07:00

Almost two weeks ago, Hubby and I discovered that we have a stray Mama Kat and her two kittens living under our deck. At first we believed the felines to be feral, but, as the picture below displays, that is not the case.

If Mama Kat were feral, there is no way in hell she would let me anywhere near her, let alone touch her. This discovery was made after Hubby and I gave in and decided to start feeding them. We figured, if nothing else, we could get to a point where we could catch them and get them neutered. After seeing how attention starved Mama Kat is, however, I think we're going to try to find homes for her and the kittens.

The kittens look exactly like baby versions of two of our own children (the above kitten looks almost exactly like Sticky, and the kitten below is the doppelganger of my utterly neurotic Isaac).

So, if you know of anyone who would be interested in adoption and are very good kitty parents, let me know. I'd love to see these cuties go somewhere they would be loved, adored, and pampered like they deserve. =D

(Yes, I realize that I am a sucker, but I have four cats already; and there is NO way I can take these kids in myself.)

Hurray for spawn!

2006-10-18T12:52:00.000-07:00

Fae and Kjubb are pregnant! Wah HOO!! Congratulations you two! I've been waiting for Fae to post it on her blog before doing my own little post. I figured that she'd want to be the first person to put the news on the internet. Soon, I'll have somewhere to put all my baby-oriented energy to use. Then, maybe, I'll stop scaring Hubby with the talk of wanting babies of mine own. Although, Baby J (as he/she has been dubbed by Sassy) may make me more impatient. Hrm. Dilemma. Sillay Sistah is also pregnant with her second lil' girl, so I'll be having two new lil' buddies to welcome into the world next year!

Link it to the world... Link it to yourself...

2006-10-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Music is incredibly important to me. It accompanies such a huge portion of my life. My life is riddled with songs which will take me to particular times, places, or people. When asked if I'd rather be deaf or blind (you know these sorts of silly questions), I pretty much always say blind; because as much as I love art and would miss painting, I can't imagine a life without music.

Over the past few years, a new musical love has bombarded my life. And it actually perplexes me a little. Mostly because there is nothing specific about this band which stands out greatly for me. They don't have the greatest lyrics in the world (not bad, just not earth-shattering works of genius), which is normally a pre-requisite for me. They are all great musicians, but this is not horribly important to me. I typically am more interested in original and clever songwriting than in the quality of how it is played. Most male singers' falsettos make me want to commit sepiku. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard - drives me nuts. And there is nothing in their songs which disguises the influences of other composers and songwriters.

But none of that seems to matter for me when it comes to Muse. Because putting all these things together, I still adore these songs. They make me feel more in 2-6 minutes than pretty much any other band I can think of. Nine Inch Nails used to come close to having this effect for me, but as I've stated before, Mr. Reznor has lost that for me. Muse's songs are so highly emotional (bordering on, but not quite reaching, the level of melodrama) it's difficult for me not to get sucked in. Even songs that, taken in their individual parts, I would find cheesy - I absolutely adore ("Starlight" from Black Holes and Revelations). To say that I'm obsessive about them might be utterly accurate.

I saw them live for the third time here in Seattle last week. There are actually very few bands whom I feel are better live than on their album. Muse is one of them. There is so much energy in their show that I always feel high and a bit giddy when it's over. Currently, I feel like I'm going through withdrawal and will listen to their albums nearly non-stop for WEEKS. The Hubby, because we rarely agree on music unless it's a punk band, will be driven mad by my repeated listening. I do try to be good and mostly listen in the car or with headphones. But there is something to be said for blasting your music in your living room and dancing ecstaticly while occasionally playing air guitar.

Welcoming the Hubby to Blogger

2006-09-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

Clicky here to see Hubby's blog! Or use the "RAR!!!!!" link to the right.

Excitement abounds!

2006-09-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

As I actually have some time to write a real update, I must inform you all that I am very VERY excited. Last Wednesday, I was offered full-time, permanent employment with the company I have been contracting with. This makes me giddy. I have really enjoyed working there and feel like I found a profession which I will enjoy long-term. The folks in my department are all bright, funny, geeky people, and we all know that I am a big nerd so I actually feel like I can fit in here. YAY for me!

71 "Odd Questions"

2006-09-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I really need to get help for the silly internet quiz addiction. It really preys upon people's desire to talk about themselves... me included.

[1] What is your middle name?
Cecilia Eliason (Eliason is technically my maiden name, but I couldn't give it up entirely when I took The Hubby's)

[2] What color is your mailbox?
Beige - it's a mail kiosk

[3] Are you available?
Yes, for people I like and trust, but I'm married; so I think Hubby would take offense to me answering "yes" in the context that this question is probably intended.

[4] Have you ever hit a deer?
nope - nor do I ever want to. I hit a squirrel once, that was bad enough.

[5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home?
I have to drive over a freeway overpass... But I don't know if that really counts.

[6] Do you get the paper delivered to your house in the morning?
No

[7] Who checks the mail in your house?
Me - we only have one key to the box.

[8] Do you have a small driveway?
I don't have a driveway; I have a parking spot - but it IS small.

[9] Do you know anyone with the same ringtone as you?
Ummm... I have a different ringtone for almost every person, but, no I haven't heard anyone else with the same ringtones.

[10] What do you do first in the morning?
Ignore Hubby's alarm, cuddle with the cats until Hubby's done in the shower. Piss, shower, feed the cats, drink some coffee.

[11] What brand is your printer?
Really? I think this is a stupid question (I completely agree, Miss Rata).

[12] Do you enjoy fighting with people?
Only when they deserve it.

[13] Is your hair naturally straight or curly?
Stick straight - you don't want to see the results of me with unnaturally curly hair... Trust me.

[14] Who was your kindergarten teacher?
Mrs. Kitano. Is it sad that I still remember this?

[16] Are you taller than your mother?
Yes, though not by much.

[17] Do you have a favorite word?
sarcasm

[18] Are you God?
Yes, we all are.

[19] What do you do to get over a broken heart?
Rant with my women, drink wine, hold a grudge for a while, move on.

[20] Do you have a deep, dark secret?
Yes, but it wouldn't really be a deep, dark secret if I let it out, now would it?

[22] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens?
Yeah, but I'm really more of a basic black kind of girl.

[23] Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Not at the moment no, but my joints were rebelling at having to exercise last week.

[24] Do you often cry during a movie?
Not often, but when I do - it's buckets.

[25] Do you hate your life?
No, there are aspects which I would like to change, but hate is such a strong word.

[26] Do you get mad easily?
Not quick to anger, per se, but I am very quick to be annoyed.

[27] Do you drink?
Again with the non-specific question.... If I didn't drink liquids ever, I would die.

[28] What is your biggest pet peeve?
Bastards who drive in the left hand lane going slower than the lane to the right of them. Kill them all! Kill!

[29] What is your away message?
Again, stupid.

[30] Do any of your friends have kids?
Yeppers

[32] Who should pay on the first date?
Whomever asked the other person out.

[33] How many years older than you are you willing to date?
Okay, again with the being married, but *if* I was single, I'd probably put the limit at 15 years older.

[34] Do you have any friends?
No, I surf the internet looking for these silly, completely addicting surveys - they are NEVER sent to me by people I know.

[35] Do you have any mean friends?
Oh hells, yeah! And I love them for it.

[36] What is the ugliest color in your opinion?
In the Crayola world, I believe it's called "Maize". It's sort of a cross between yellow and shit brown. Really not flattering.

[37] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand?
Hasn't everyone?

[38] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff, seriously?
No, but I did consider taking all of my 30 day supply of medication a few years back; it wasn't a lasting feeling obviously.

[39] Have you ever been fired from a job?
Nope

[40] Do you itch your ears?
No, but I scratch my ears if they have an itch. :P

[41] Do you have a cell?
Okay, seriously. The vague questions are driving me nuts. There are many definitions to the word "cell", why don't you pick one?

[42] What brand are the pants/jeans you're wearing right now?
Old Navy, 'cos I'm a cheap Biatch.

[43] How tall are you?
64 inches

[44] What is the closest green object to you?
Ok, this is sad: it's the power switch on my PSP test kit.

[45] What is on your feet?
Mary Janes with chunky heels. I lurve them.

[46] Do you like watermelon?
You bet.

[48] Do you want to have kids?
Someday, but not now.

[49] What is the brightest color you're wearing?
This is hilarious. I am dressed completely in black except for my jeans (that includes undergarments). So if you consider jeans bright...

[52] What's your mothers middle name?
Eugenia

[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw?
Gotta go with Battlefield Earth - stoopid scientologists...

[54] Do you collect comic books?
Yes... Shut up.

[55] Do you like your dad?
I love my father; I even love the fact that he incessantly tells stories. It's completely endearing. He should have been a History/Political Science professor - then he could do it professionally.

[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, South Park, Firefly, Carnivale, X-Files, Red Dwarf, Coupling (BBC), Lost, and many MANY anime TV series

[57] Are you wearing makeup?
Nope.

[58] Do you have a tattoo?
Yes

[61] Do you know how to draw??
Yes... Most people do, it's a matter of whether they do it WELL.

[63] Who is your hero?
Princess Leia - nobody said it had to be a real person.

[64] Who did you last IM?
Hubby

[67] Who was the last person that called you?
My mom

[68] Is there anything you regret?
Yes, but I probably wouldn't change it if I could, because it's part of what makes me who I am.

[69] Do you know where your family name originated from?
"Eliason" is Norwegian (it was originally Eliasen, but my grandfather changed the spelling)
"Davis" is Welsh in origin.

[70] Is there an animal that creeps you out?
Cockroaches - anything that can shrug off the nuclear holocaust as just a bad day is creepy.

[71] What was the last thing you did for fun?
Hung out with Fae and Sassy and drank too much wine... Ok, so it's a recurring motif with me... Shoot me.

Sing on, Mr. Gibbard.

2006-09-18T13:11:00.000-07:00

"And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes,
But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too.
So brown eyes I hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere."
-- "Soul Meets Body" / Death Cab For Cutie

I adore how music and poetry can so succinctly describe how you feel or may have felt at a particular moment in time. Every time I hear this song, I get to relive some of the moments that I love most. That feeling of contentedness just to lay in the arms of someone you love and not say or do anything - just be with each other. As you lay with your eyes closed, the only sound is that of the air filling and exiting your lungs, maybe the rustling of fabric as your bodies settle in place. All of the outside worries of living leave you for a time. You want to stay in that moment forever.

Three cheers for continuing employment! And other news...

2006-09-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

Hip hip hurray! Hip hip hurray! Hip hip hurray!

I received a verbal offer for my contract to continue today. This is especially good news. I was not looking forward to going job hunting again. So hurray for me!

Other than that, I'm feeling like an old lady today. I had my first circuit training class on Wednesday night, and today I feel as though I need my defective hips ripped out and shiny new replacements inserted. The muscle aches and soreness are very tolerable in comparison to my joints deciding to rebel at the thought of having to function normally after six years of sitting on my arse in a desk job with no regular exercise. I do comprehend that I have no one to blame but myself for this predicament and fully intend to quit whining about it as soon as I am done venting. Do yourselves a favor kids and listen to Aunt Becket: Don't let yourself go! It's much easier to keep up if you never fall behind.

Oh! Did I mention that I am newly enamored with roller derby? When Sh0nn4, Sassy and I went to Bumbershoot a couple weeks ago, we went to a roller derby exhibition match. It was so [insert slang term for good here]! I got way more caught up in the matches than I thought I would. I'm not really much of a sports person. I love football (we Americans like to call it "soccer") and like baseball, but had never really seen another sport that held my interest. Sassy and I are going to a Rat City Rollergirls match next Saturday. Now if I can just get someone to want to go to local football matches with me...

We also saw Chuck Palahniuk do a reading at Bumbershoot. Po' Sassy tried so hard to hide how uncomfortable (and, as we later found out, ill) his reading made her. She is correct that he does go into incredibly specific (i.e. gory) detail with things which most people would rather not hear about. I guess it has never really distracted or bothered me when authors do this. I've always been able to separate myself from the more tactile imagery of writing. It's like watching a gory movie. It never enters my reality so it doesn't bother me. (Of course, it's a whole different story when it comes to suspense, as Sassy can attest to... *ahem* Ju-On *ahem*.) It probably helps, though, that in my course of working as a veterinary technician, I'd seen some pretty hideous injuries (including prolapsed rectums). It sort of takes the edge off when you've seen the real thing. Plus, the guy is just hilarious. I think the humor that he brings to his characters helps to put me at ease in the most uncomfortable of situations. I was almost sad though that the reading was at Bumbershoot and not in a bookstore. I would've stayed to get my copy of Diary signed, but I didn't really want to wait in what would've probably been a 1-2 hour line. Sh0nn4 and I have sworn that we will be competent stalkers next time and get in line early.

Oh, the self-inflicted woes of life as a contractor

2006-09-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

This is the one thing I hate about contracting. I can deal with not having benefits. But I get horribly anxious towards the end of a project. I like my job. I'd like to keep my job. But contractors live in even less of a no guarantee world than other people. This is supposed to be the last week of my current project. I still haven't heard anything about whether I'll be moving to another game, or moving out all together. In most things, I'm actually a fairly patient person. It's hard for me to be so inclined when discussing the existence of my livelihood. My boss says I should know before the product I'm currently working on ships. If I'm lucky that should be before Friday.

Word of the Day: Tetchy

2006-09-02T09:58:00.000-07:00

I am on day seven of my new drugs. I must just point out how much I love feeling anxious, nauseated, and unfocused. All of these are, of course, normal side-effects of the first few weeks. And to be perfectly honest, it's not as bad as some other drugs I've been on. But I will persevere. It's better than the alternative.

I'll be heading to Bumbershoot later with Sassy and Sh0nn4. Yay for rollerderby and Chuck!

Drugs? Yes, please!

2006-08-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

I have been off my medication for ~9 months now due to the fact that I do not have health insurance and could not afford them without it. At first, I was doing alright - maybe a bit more cranky than usual, but I was feeling fairly motivated. But lately, no triggering event required, I've been incredibly unfocused. I've slunk back to into old patterns of doubting everything and everyone - my mind racing about the most idiotic occurrences and how they could be intended - and the constant insomnia is always a joy with which my heart explodes in delight. Well, dear friends and family, I'm sick of being the lethargic, anxious, crybaby, worrywart, freakshow that I've been over the past few weeks. The Hubby and I have finally paid off our car which will free up some required fundage. I have made the necessary arrangements to visit a doctor and get back on drugs. I wish I could be one of those people who only need medication for a limited time, because, believe me, being dependent on ANYTHING is not a state of being to which I aspire.

I've also got off my duff and signed up for some exercise classes at the local community center. I'm also fairly certain that I'll feel a lot better once I'm no longer 50 lbs or more overweight (because that wouldn't have anything to do with why I'm lethargic). My loverly Miss Sh0nn4 is going to come to at least one of the classes with me, which should help a lot in keeping me motivated to attend.

As promised: first round of pics from TheCanCan

2006-08-10T13:06:00.000-07:00

Erica and I
(you can see that I already have that blurry-red-wine gaze, lol)

Fae and Vespa

Auntie Sassy and I

Very minor update

2006-08-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

As I normally blog from work (you spend all day on a computer, you tend to not want to be on one when you get home), and work has actually been pretty busy with.. well, work; I haven't had much time to actually collect my thoughts to write a real blog. I got some pictures from my 30th b-day party this week and will try to post them later today (thank you, Erica!), but until then I leave you with yet another survey, care of Rata.

Things you may not have known about me...

Four jobs I have had in my life:

Newspaper delivery (yes, I had a paper route as a child)
Adult Video Store Asst. Manager
Veterinary Technician
Software Tester

Four movies I have watched over and over:

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Moulin Rouge
Spirited Away
Hellraiser

Four places I have lived:

Bellingham WA
Des Moines WA
Quincy MA
Kirkland WA

Four TV shows I love to watch:

Deadwood
Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
FireFly
Battlestar Galactica (the new one on SciFi)

Four places I have been on vacation:

Washington DC
San Diego CA
Victoria BC
Las Vegas NV

Four of my favorite foods:

Lasagna
Garlic Bread
Mashed Potatoes
Lamb Vindaloo

Four places I would rather be right now:

Napping with my kitties
Dublin
Okinawa
Piane Crotti (Italy)

I miss the weekend

2006-07-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

This last weekend was actually very nice, nothing too raucous or amazing, but nice and stress-free (which I've been needing a lot of lately). It was the Hubby's and my 6th wedding anniversary on Saturday. We spent the afternoon at the Woodland Park Zoo, which we both love, and went to dinner at Anthony's in Kirkland. Hubby was very cutesy-pie all day and gave me a very sweet card, which actually got me a little teary-eyed (which I'll have to show to Fae and Sassy 'cos you'd be awfully proud of my man).

On Sunday, I headed down to Sh0nn4's to do some marathon anime-watching. This used to be a common pastime for Sh0nn4 and I, prior to the east coast move, and is definitely one that I missed participating in. You've got to enjoy sprawling on the couch all day doing nothing but eating and watching t.v. It's incredibly satisfying. We finished Trinity Blood and started Blood+. Trinity Blood is cool, but has one of the most annoying endings ever to an anime series. I understand that the Japanese often do not feel the need to give real plot "endings", and I'm okay with that as long as there is some sort of emotional resolution for the characters. No such luck with this one. If there is a second season to the damn thing, I might be willing to forgive this ending, but otherwise they have no excuse for this crap. Even Trigun had more of a resolution than this (and it didn't have much of one either)! Blood+ may end up being one of my favorite series if it continues to be as well done as the first 13 episodes (it looks like this one does have more than one season, so we'll see where it goes).

I <3 Nny

2006-07-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

What Johnny the Homicidal Maniac character are you?

You're Nny! You're psychotic and kind of evil, but somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck finding it.
Take this quiz!

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Fae, you are trying to kill me, aren't you?

2006-07-24T14:40:00.000-07:00

Do you not realize that giving me the next 2 books in the Southern Vampire series is completely dooming me to nights of staying up far too late in order to read the entire book? Did you not consider my obsessive nature when loaning/recommending these to me? Hmm? I'm still recovering from this weekend for gawd's sake! I need at least a week where I can get enough sleep every night before I can function again without feeling dead to the world! Ack! Now you have me using the book titles in my regular speech! Damn you! =D

Thank you, my pretties!

2006-07-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

I want to give a big, huge, THANK YOU to my women who made the Saturday celebration of my 30th Birthday a very memorable one. So to Fae, Sassy, Erica, and Vespa, you are wonderful, and I love you all! I'll post some pics of the night once I get some.

The Can Can was pretty awesome. Definitely someplace I would like to visit again. They had some pretty talented performers, and some very hilarious ones (I still say that Double-0-Sassy has nothing on our Auntie Sassy, IMHO). The club we visited afterwards had changed a lot since the last time I'd been there (it's been over 2 years, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised - it doesn't even have the same name). I felt like I had stepped into Wannabeville. But at that point I was more concerned about my tired feet than the annoying kids in the club.

Sunday was so incredibly, disgustingly hot that Erica and I did nothing but lounge on the couches. After Erica left to make the drive back to Portland, I then attempted to find somewhere, ANYWHERE that actually had a fan which possessed a larger than 6-inch diameter. I was not lucky in my hunt. Trying to sleep last night was not a pleasant experience.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8

2006-07-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

Hurray for Joss Whedon! He is bringing the continuing saga of our favorite superheroine to Dark Horse Comics. Read more here.